Well. The short story goes like this: got medication, got complications, got off medication, got some detox effects, had tests, will have way more tests.
The longer version... well, it's longer.( Here be dooziesCollapse )
In conclusion, next I'm going to an endocrinologist for a thorough check up. My doc suggested that looking at the total picture, I might benefit from actual ADD medication, but he wants to be perfectly sure there are no other underlying causes and/or contraindications.
I might be alive soon again!
In other news, my domain has been down for a while now. Our registration time closed and my husband, whose name is in the virtual paperwork, needs to fix that. When it's done, rautalanka.net will be up again.
Since I last dropped by... I've been alternatively very busy and very sick.
Tuesday I thought I'd relieve my monthly symptoms like all the doctors recommend: exercise. So I walked. Briskly, enough to break a little sweat. And by the end of the day, I was lying in a boneless heap on the sofa, barely able to lift a finger and every muscle, plus my knees, aching like hell.
Thursday I went out with my old friend, and proceeded to get totally smashed. We fangirled over House (finally we have some fangirly thing in common, normally our tastes run completely opposite). The next morning, I threw up. And I did it many times, to the point of having nothing but hydrochloric acid to purge. And you know, the last time alcohol made me throw up was the years ago, when I had just stopped breastfeeding and had a little lower tolerance than I remembered.
I'm pretty sure my weak larynx has progressed into a full blown reflux problem and I've felt dizzy for over twenty four hours now.
And let's not even get into the sleeping troubles.
Last night I spent in that exceptionally strange state between sleep and consciousness. The whole time I was dreaming I was consciously thinking.
It started with a palpable feeling of something wandering downstairs. Then I heard the stairs creak as if it was ascending. My sleep-husband was restless (and the real one as well), and I kept debating myself if I should wake him up, for real.
Then that something used our upstairs bathroom, which is just next to our bedroom. I started to panic, and convinced him, in the dream, to go face that someone/thing. He got up, and I changed into "husband-vision". He/I walked to the bathroom door and it was ajar.
In the darkness, a black shape with glowing eyes stared back, as if slightly surprised to be caught.
Back to my vision, I'm lying in bed, curled and shaking. He comes back and hides under the covers. And this is a man with a past of "stopper-medium", a guy who actually attended seances to chase away ill spirits and protect the actual medium, and he was swearing he wasn't going back.
This is where I wake up completely and spend a few minutes trying to get back to reality and, yeah, to use the bathroom. After, I try to go back to sleep, but end up drifting along the cusp for the rest of the night.
Now this is where it really gets weird.
Morning comes and I wake him up and we start comparing whom slept less well.
Turns out he spent the entire night on "alert-mode": he kept thinking possible weak spots where someone could enter the house (none but front door) and what he could use for self-defence right in our bedroom. Well, lucky enough we have a katana in our bedroom. While we talked he raised the possibility of moving our handgun upstairs, since it's now locked in our basement storage room.
So. Was there something, is there something in here? Whether yes or no, he proclaimed that "we welcome all friendly ghosts and entities, just please stop bothering our sleep. Oh, and don't use our upstairs bathroom, that's just distracting."
I don't know whether to be relieved that I haven't gone totally bonkers (because it was a shared experience), or really uncomfortable (for the same reason).
I need to whore myself on every proverbial street corner to make the most of my X06 gig, but I can't get it up!!!
Where's the mental viagra when you need it?
Subject line uttered by my 10 year old about an hour ago. Bless her, she's already on the Colbert Track. I explained truthiness to her, and, yet again bless her little smart head, her response was "That's even more stupid."
For realz though, I'm just updating to show off my newly ganked icons. They're all so very awesome. This one is So Wrong It's Right.
Oh, also, I'M GOING TO BARCELONA! Man, this September I'll be gettin' 'round like a bitch in heat.
...Second season of Finnish Big Brother started on Tuesday. There's already been one couple rocking the blanket on the sofa. Man, last season it took two months before anyone had sex on camera! My favourite bit so far was the shot of two guys sleeping, one under blankets and one on his back, completely naked, everything hangin' out there. Then the naked guy turned to his side and nuzzled and frigging licked the other dude's shoulder.
What ensued was roughly this:
Blanket dude: "WTF who's licking me?"
Nude dude: *wakes up* "WTF? ...O.M.G."
Blanket dude: "Dude, not cool."
Nude dude: "Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." *stalks off*
On the internet shenanigans front, Colbert Report comm got wanked. And yeah, some asswipe got sand in their vagina from the harmless squeegasms induced by the Emmy thang and the RPS.
Dude, when you're using a Jon/Stephen pizzapr0n icon you got no leg to stand on that.
Besides, this IS Stephen Colbert; the guy who has Colbert/O'Reilly slash in his official fansite and repeatedly jokes about his repressed homosexual urges. Or not so repressed, seeing as he proclaimed that he "just can't stop craving the cock" when someone asked why he plays so much gayness.
- Music:Simpsons on tv
For the last three consecutive nights I've had the most vivid nightmares. First one had me in a pirate slash supernatural mystery slash melodrama starring me and my husband, who disappeared just like that. Poof! Then there was the drama. I woke up right before I got to screaming because he'd just admitted he didn't want to come back because I was "frigid". My interrupted answer would've been beyond nasty.
The next night I dreamt of meter maids patrolling in our quiet neighbourhood and giving us a ticket for parking on our own drive way. Now that's one thrilling nightmare.
The last one I can't recall anymore, but rest assured it was restless.
I have a whole big ranty thing where I get on my social issues soapbox about reproduction lurking in the back of my head, but I have this new keyboard I'm still not accustomed to and then there's
OMG EMMYS AND JON AND STEPHEN~!!!
Yes, I am in fangirl heaven. I've become so sadly besotted with Stephen lately it's... Actually, it's not that odd for me, because as I've discovered, my Ultimate Type of Man seems to be:
- Dark hair
- with spectacles
- open-minded and in with genderbending/queerness/gay rights/unconventional gender roles, or as I like to call it, secure with their own sexuality,
- and finally, bilingual and/or half deaf.
That last one is so weird though. Nearly all the guys I've really liked have had either or, and my first baby daddy (haha) was, get this, both.
Damn I'm so frustrated. I wanna make a gazillion icons but the portable PS I have can't resize by pixels! I mean, WTF PS??? W.T.F.
I, apparently, look a lot like a man. ( I entered three pictures...Collapse )
In conclusion, I need to start doing drag. I'd make an absolutely fabulous king.
But apparently, the androgynous look works, because last week I was out with friends and had two most perplexing encounters.
First one: At bar, me standing and looking around. Someone touches my cheek and I turn. It's a dude who leans in, says "You, beautiful. Enjoy that," and totally just walks away and disappears before I realize what the hell happened.
The other: Me and two others outside, waiting for the rest of the gang. Someone comes up from behind and lifts my hood up, I have this fab new red overcoat see. I turn around and introduce myself as Little Red Riding Hood. Guy is bald and totally smashed and tries to invite me to the 24/7 McDonalds across the street. I'm like, No, and he's like, Whut? and I'm all, *ignore, commencing*.( And now for your recommended dose of total TMI regarding my reproductive systems...Collapse )
One and a half hours until I have to present my work results to the boss and assorted other people, I don't even know how many.
God I'm a bundle of nerves. Also, totally incapable of doing anything constructive.
When I get home I got a bottle of white wine, the whole liquor cabinet and my Angel season 5 box set waiting for me. It's a veritable party all right.
I've also decided I shall never work again. Well, at least not like this. I'd be having a burn out and/or nervous breakdown in under a year. It makes me rather depressed to realize this.
Well, there's a vague chance that my neuropsych tests come back positive and I'll be starting my new drugged out life by the end of this year.
My neck and shoulders just started cramping. Ugh.
Now for a super-special extra report from the headquarters of Rinoaland, this is
I know what I did last summer, or, How I learned to stop worrying and love the burnout.( Yes, I'm actually telling. Not showing, though. How bad of me.Collapse )
And now for the Big News:
Today I got a Very Special Phonecall. It was the communications manager for Xbox Finland, inviting me to the X06.
Which is, let me adjust my tie for this, a Europe-wide party of everything Xbox, from new hardware to sneak peeks of games in production and all that jazz, hosted by Microsoft.
And I got personally invited! AS A JOURNALIST! OMG!
So, I guess I'll know where I'll be come September 27-28. In Barcelona, biyatch!
...So, how was your summer, people? Please, please take a moment and drop a comment. Feel free to bypass everything about me. What I really wanna hear is you
; what ya'll been up to while I've been out of commission. I've missed my f-list so much!
*lotsa huggles and sparklies*
- Music:Simpsons on tv